


Homecoming

by cm (mumblemutter)



Category: Thor (Movies), Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Actual Harlequin Romance, Alternate Universe - Human, Incest, Kid Fic, M/M, Twins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-01
Updated: 2014-04-13
Packaged: 2018-01-10 19:32:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1163617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mumblemutter/pseuds/cm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki returns to stay, for a price.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [回家（Homecoming）](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1805437) by [aivsl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aivsl/pseuds/aivsl)



1.

Loki receives the call in the middle of the night. It sounds like a lawyer, or insurance salesman, and his first words are, "Mr. Odinson?"

He almost cuts the line, burns the phone, readies himself to move on. Instead he says, "I was sleeping, so this better be good."

"Mr. Odinson," and now he sounds relieved. "You're a hard man to find, sir."

"And you're wasting my time."

"Sir, it's about your father."

Loki puts the phone down, goes back to sleep.

 

2.

They pay for his flight out. There's a man waiting to take him to the airport, another one to drive him to the family lawyer's office. Almost as if they're worried he'll change his mind, turn tail and run. It's close, but in the end Loki follows through, if only to spit on the old man's grave.

Thor's already there: grave, pale, red-eyed. He's been grieving, and Loki savors it for a moment, until Thor's gaze flickers up. He stands, and he's taller than Loki remembers him. Older, but that's expected. It's been ten years, after all. 

"Loki," he says, and his voice breaks.

"Hello, brother," Loki replies, cold, and Thor steps backward, collapses back into his chair. 

One of the lawyers clears his throat, says, "Mr. Odinson, if you would have a seat, we may begin."

They're not the only ones there: Odin's bequeathed some of his lesser assets to old friends, loyal employees, the random distant relative.

Loki thinks: maybe the bastard will leave him a car, or the house. Perhaps a dollar, just to ensure that Loki has to show up. He only sits up when the lawyer reading out the relevant part of the will starts to look flustered, and asks for the room to be cleared save for the two of them.

Loki glances at Thor, who only stares steadfastly at his hands.

"Fifty-one percent," Loki says, when the woman finally gets her act together and lays it out for them. That's controlling interest. That's - "And what's the catch?"

A small smile appears on Thor's face, disappears almost immediately. "Go on, then. Tell us what the catch is."

It's crazy, is what it is. 

Loki shakes his head in exasperation, stifles a laugh. "No, this is bullshit. It's a joke, right? The real will is out there, somewhere. You willl tell me what it is any minute now."

The lawyers all shake their heads in unison. "Mr. Borson was very specific," one of them says. "Very specific."

"Surely we can contest these conditions as unreasonable."

"It's unreasonable that we have to spend a year living in the same house? It's a big house." These are the first words that Thor's spoken since he said Loki's name. His voice is still hoarse, and he sounds completely exhausted.

The lawyer clears his throat. "You need to spend at least twenty hours a week in each other's company."

"Now _that's_ unreasonable."

"I'll do it," Thor says.

"I won't."

"Then the entire estate goes to Stark Industries."

It's a close decision, in the end. 

 

3.

The staff look surprised when they show up. Separate cars - Loki can't help but notice that Thor's being driven by Father's driver. Some things Thor always just took for granted as his. Like Loki, once upon a time.

Loki hands his bag over to a vaguely familiar looking girl, and Thor tilts his head up at the house. "I thought it would look smaller than I remembered. I guess not."

"Surely you've been here recently," Loki says, surprised.

"Dad moved out to the city after Mom died, so there was no real reason to come back here."

Mother's death: Loki was in Shanghai at the time, received a phone call from one of the family lawyers. Not Thor, not Odin. Such as it was.

"You should cut your hair," Loki says. "You look like a girl."

"So?" Thor's smile is bright, if fleeting. "Besides, you used to like that kind of thing."

The house is exactly the same: nothing at all has changed in the decade since Loki left. There are fresh lilies in a vase in the foyer. Mother's favorite. Loki fingers a petal.

Thor says, "Dad made sure everything was run the way it was before Mom died."

"All this for ghosts and the help." Loki glances around, says, "So does this count toward the three hours a day?"

"I thought dinner."

"Dinner, fine," Loki replies shortly. "I'll see you at six, then."

"Six-thirty. It was always six-thirty."

Loki shrugs. It doesn't matter.

His things are all unpacked, clothes neatly hung in the closet and toiletries put away. The rest of his belongings will arrive tomorrow, but Loki's always travelled light, so there's not much. It's easier when you don't get attached to things, don't accumulate, to move on when needed.

Loki takes a nap, wakes up in time for dinner.

It's three hours, he tells himself.

He can last three hours.

 

4.

Thor's put out wine, which Loki appreciates. He's changed for dinner, into jeans and a black t-shirt, tied his hair up in a low ponytail. Loki watches him for a while before he enters the dining room. Like he used to when they were younger, and as always, Thor knows. He turns his head, says, "You're late."

"Fell asleep." Loki sits on the left, doesn't remark on how Thor's taken the seat at the head. Odin's seat. "I need alcohol to get through this night," he says, pouring himself a generous amount of wine.

"Surely it won't be so bad, three hours with me. It's been ten years, we have a lot to talk about."

"No, I don't think so. The will didn't stipulate conversation."

"Fine."

The rest of the evening passes in tense silence. Even the servers scuttle in and then out again, barely pausing to smile at Thor.

It's only eight when they retire to the den to finish off their punishment. Loki's a little drunk, but he pours himself a tumbler of whiskey anyway, passes another one to Thor. "It's like we're living out a prison sentence."

Thor stares at his glass, sighs. "Or we could talk."

"Pass."

Thor shrugs. "Worth a try."

 

5.

Growing up, Thor was everything. They shared the same room until they were fourteen, and even then it took the shame of social recrimination to separate them. Thor cared far less than Loki, and it was one of the many things that infuriated Loki about Thor, even as he admired him for it. 

He was hurt when Loki insisted on his own room, wore it on him for over a month before he forgave Loki.

Mother said, "I remember when we tried separating you when you were ten. We came home one evening from dinner and somehow you'd managed to drag the other mattress all the way to Thor's side, and you both declared that you wouldn't sleep anywhere but with each other." 

"We were _ten_ ," Loki said, even as Thor frowned. The moving had been Loki's idea; he was the one that couldn't bear to be alone at night. He was the one that heard monsters.

 

6.

Loki eats breakfast by himself. Thor's probably running, his usual five miles a day. Loki used to run with him, but he always hated it, always hated the way his lungs burned and his thighs hurt. The endorphin high was never worth it, not for him.

"Any coffee left for me?" Thor reaches for the coffee pot before Loki can reply, pours himself a cup. He's shirtless, the faint sheen of sweat turning his skin a gleaming gold. 

"It's getting cold - you still run shirtless?" 

Thor grins at him, plops down on a chair to pile food onto his plate. "Blood pumping keeps me warm. Besides, it's not that cold yet." His voice turns faintly distant. "Remember the winters - we'd be so happy whenever school would close, but Mom always made us study, until you'd find a way for us to sneak off." 

"I don't remember that at all." Loki puts his fork down. "I couldn't find any newspapers worth reading." 

"Yeah, ask Jonas. He'll get you whatever you want. Where are you living now, anyway," he asks, his smile falsely casual. 

Loki doesn't reply. Thor doesn't push, and for that he's at least somewhat grateful. "So who runs the company while we're here playing house?" 

"Heimdall, more or less. He'll drop by once a week, or we can go up. Driving up might do us some good." 

"Only if we take separate cars," Loki says. "And this doesn't bother you? Relinquishing control?" 

"A lot's changed since you've last been here. I'm not - I'm not that invested in running the company. It's why Dad didn't retire when he should have." A flash of guilt, gone soon enough. "Maybe if you'd been there." 

"I'd have - what? Been your subordinate? I was never going to do that." 

Thor winces. "If I'd known you wanted it that bad -" 

"Oh, please. You'd have given it to me?" Loki pushes his chair back, stands. "I never needed your charity, Thor. Not then, and not now."

 

7.

The indoor pool is where Loki used to get most of his exercise growing up, and it hasn't changed, even though it's likely that it's rarely been used since he left. Everyone else in the family preferred the one outside.

"Would you like the heat, sir." 

"No, it's fine." 

He swims until he's exhausted, until he can't do anything but flop onto the tiles, breathing heavily.

"Don't wear yourself out." 

Loki sits up, glares. "Are you following me? Or is it that you want to get the three hours over with early." 

Thor's freshly showered, changed into khakis. He rolls them up to the knees before sitting down next to Loki, putting his feet into the water. "You always beat me whenever we raced." 

"That's not how I remember it." 

Thor sighs, doesn't argue the point. "You look good though. I like the hair." 

They had such different hair. Thor's thick and gold, Loki's frizzy and dark. But they always had to have the same haircut, so in the end they both had bad hair, although Thor always made out better than Loki did. But Loki likes the close crop. It's easier to deal with the frizz like this. 

"A year," Loki says. "Dad must really have hated me." 

"You know," Thor says, and the sun streaming through the skylight casts shadows on his smile. "I don't think that's it."

 

8.

Thor's daughter is coming to stay. Loki's told this with an apologetic smile from Thor. "Jane was invited to the arctic, some sort of expedition. Only for a month, maybe two. I hope you don't mind." 

Loki raises a brow. "I have a choice?" 

Thor doesn't take the bait. "It'll be good - I've wanted you to meet her." 

"Could have invited me to the wedding. Or when she was born." 

"We didn't know where you were," Thor replies, bland.

Magni is a miniature Thor, all strawberry blonde curls and pink cheeks. Thor kisses his ex-wife on the cheek as she apologizes profusely, tells her, "It's a pleasure, please. You know I want more time with her." Jane grimaces. It must be an old argument. "Hey, meet my brother." 

Jane smiles at him. "So you're the infamous Loki, huh? Thor's told me a lot about you." 

"It's mostly true, I assure you." She's so dull, so completely pedestrian. Loki doesn't understand why Thor married her to begin with, but he understands the subsequent divorce. 

Thor picks Magni up one handed. "Magni, say hello to your uncle." 

She turns her face to him, frowns. "You don't look like him. Dad said you were twins. In play school we had twins, and they were always pretending to be one another. I didn't like them." 

"Magni," Thor says. 

"Fraternal twins," Loki says. "It's less complicated than it sounds." Magni loses interest, buries her face in Thor's shoulder.

"Why," Loki asks, when Jane is gone, after a final flurry of apologies. 

"We were in love." 

"Please." Loki snorts. 

"Magni's tired." Thor smooths down the back of her head. "I'll just put her to bed. The nannies arrive tomorrow, and I thought maybe we could go out, all of us." 

"We'll see," Loki says. 

Magni curls herself into Thor, a little fist tight in his hair. Thor just kisses her brow, says, "Let's go up, princess. I'll show you your room. You'll love it."

 

9.

At night, Loki thinks of Thor fucking Jane: his giant body over her small one, smothering her with his weight. She wouldn't understand what Thor really needs; it's just another reason why the marriage was doomed to fail.

Loki's slept with maybe three people, since he left. They were all mistakes, swiftly rectified by his disappearing as soon as the deed was done. Uncomplicated sex was harder than it looked, and Loki never felt as if he was missing much in any case.

 

10.

"How's your knee," Loki asks, over dinner. He plays no part in the instructions to the chef, and yet somehow the food is always exquisite, catered to his sensitive palate. 

"I know when it's about to rain, and winter's a bitch, but other than that, it's fine."

The accident changed their lives. Loki was drunk as well, though not as drunk as he seemed, and definitely not as drunk as Thor. Thor's idiot friends would say, afterwards, that Loki tried to stop him, but Thor refused to listen. This was important. If you'd asked Loki, and no one ever did, he would have said he'd done it because he loved and hated his brother in equal amounts, and that it drove him mad. He would have said: because he was bored, and it was easy.

Thor still carries a faint limp, noticeable only to those that know it's there.

Odin was furious. Touched the scrape on Loki's forehead and said, "He's out of control." Loki tried to plead Thor's case, but he knew it wouldn't work.

They said he could have been one of the greats, Thor Odinson. Loki used to love to watch him play.

"Maybe you should run less. Try swimming." 

"Maybe," Thor says agreeably. "How's your head?"

"Fine," Loki says, and even as he does he can feel the start of a headache beneath his temple, the burgeoning pain. The wine doesn't help, but he drinks too much anyway, staggers upstairs in white hot pain. The floor is too close as he trips on carpeting, but then warm arms are around his chest, holding him up. 

"I got you," Thor says.

"Pills," Loki says, as Thor tucks him into bed. The sound of Thor rummaging around for them is deafening, but he returns soon enough with a glass and Loki’s pain meds.

Loki pushes away the glass, dry swallows the pills with a grimace. Rustling, and then Thor's sliding in behind him. His hand is on Loki's back, hot against his skin. "Breathe," Thor says, soft into Loki's ear.

He used to do this, whenever Loki got a headache. Talk to Loki, touch him, keep him grounded until it passed. The first time after Loki walked out, he thought he would die. It took him years to get accustomed to Thor not being there to walk him through the pain. "Go away," he mumbles, and tries to poke his elbow into Thor's side. 

Thor ignores him, says, "Shhh, don't speak. I have you, it's okay," and Loki moans, gives in.

This is where it started to go wrong, perhaps. The two of them, wrapped in each other like this.

Thor's asleep when Loki wakes up. It's night, and his arm is wrapped right around Loki's waist, face pressed into the back of his neck.

Loki tries shifting away, but he can't. At least his head is better, the pain receding to a dull ache. "Thor," Loki says. "Thor." Louder. "You awake?" 

"Mmmph," Thor says. 

"You giant oaf." 

"I missed you," Thor sounds half asleep still, or mostly asleep. "I missed you. Don't leave."

Loki stiffens, and after a while Thor's breathing evens out again. He doesn't release Loki.

 

11.

Thor's daughter is odd. Loki only catches her in glimpses, and she disappears when he focuses his attention on her, like a ghost. 

"She likes you," Thor says. 

"She has a weird way of showing it if she does." 

"Sounds familiar." 

Loki doesn't take the obvious bait. Says instead, "We going out?"

In the car, Magni loses her shyness, bubbles over with questions directed towards Loki. Her eyes are wide and her smile sweetly open, and she speaks to him as if she completely expects him to love her, because who wouldn't? Thor had this look as well, growing up. Charmed his way into everything.

She holds her hands out to Loki as they exit the car. Loki just stares. "She won't break, I promise," Thor says. 

He picks her up, finally, and she beams, wraps her arms around his neck. "Can't you walk," Loki asks her, but mildly. 

"My legs are too short, I'm too slow." 

"Yeah, I've been there." 

At the playground, they both sit and watch her run with the other children. A woman comes up to Thor, flashes him a hopeful smile that turns to uncertainty when she notices Loki. "Karnilla," Thor says, his voice lacking its usual warmth. 

"It's been a while, Thor." 

"Jane's been on location in London. Took Magni with her." 

"I'm Loki," Loki says. 

"My brother." 

Karnilla's eyes widen somewhat. "The twin? You don't look like twins." 

"That's what the four-year-old said - I had to explain to her what fraternal meant." 

"Right," Karnilla says, and her tone hardens. "It was good to see you again, Thor. You should drop by the house sometime. We'll have dinner." 

"Sure," Thor says.

"Nice to meet you, Loki."

Loki nods. "So who was that?"

"A mistake," Thor says, grim, as he watches Karnilla pick up her child.

"The mighty Thor - since when do you make mistakes." 

"I make plenty," Thor says. "Just few I regret." 

Magni stops to wave at them, and after a moment Loki waves back. "Why don't you ask for full custody. You want her." 

"I couldn't do that to Jane." 

"She's your daughter." 

"And what do you care," Thor asks. 

Loki bristles. "I don't. I was just saying, she's your blood. She shouldn't be raised by that - woman." 

"Jane's a good mother," Thor says, and the conversation is over. "I owe her this much."

Magni sleeps with her head pillowed in Loki's lap as they head home, as Loki brushes fine red hair away from her face. He catches Thor glancing at him, fond expression on his face, and finds himself coloring, turning away.

It's been a while since his stomach lurched like this, with that desire for approval, the need to please. A decade, to be more precise.

"It's been more than three hours today," he tells Thor as Thor carries Magni up to her room. "We can skip dinner tonight. Maybe tomorrow as well."

Thor only nods.

 

12.

It's odd, how quickly he's gotten used to having company for dinner again. It's almost as if the past ten years never happened, as if they were a dream and he's only now waking up.

Thor says nothing when Loki slides into the seat next to him, only pours him a glass of wine.

"She can't swim," Loki says, halfway through dessert. 

"Hm?" 

"She told me, she wanted to go on the water slides but she didn't dare because she was afraid she would drown. You should have just thrown her into the water as a baby, she would learn how to float. It's instinct." 

"It's not too late. We have pools, and someone who likes to swim." 

"You'd trust me with your only daughter?" Loki asks, faintly mocking. 

"Maybe I'll join you," Thor says. "But I trust you." 

"I wouldn't." 

"Finish your dessert. I made it myself." 

"Did you?" Loki raises a brow. "No wonder women keep throwing themselves at you, if you can bake as well." 

"I make a mean roast chicken as well. Mom's recipe. Join me for lunch some time, I'll cook."

 

13.

Magni's reverted back to shyness, hides behind Thor's leg as they near the pool. Loki's been swimming for a while. "I'm afraid," she tells Thor, as Loki puts his elbows on the tiles. 

Thor picks her up, kisses her on the cheek. "We'll take care of you, I promise." He sits down before slipping into the pool, Magni still in his arms. 

Loki holds out his own. "Give her to me, hey."

She's a fast learner. Strong, like her father. Brave, too. She forgets her fear soon enough. Is splashing in the water, laughing with joy as Loki holds her by the waist, shows her how to kick.

She wears out eventually, and Thor hands her to the nanny, promises to come in later to tuck her in. "Story?" She asks. 

"We'll see," Thor says, with a smile on his face that means yes.

Loki starts to swim to the edge of the pool, but Thor catches him by the arm. "Thank you for this," he says. 

"She's better company than you." 

"She is," Thor replies, pride deep in his voice. 

He looks so _happy_. Loki's heart stutters, and Thor's smile slowly fades away. He's still holding on to Loki, and his fingers tighten. "Don't," Loki says, "stop," and kisses him.

The kiss only starts out tentative, and then Thor is pushing him against the tiles, his hands roaming over Loki's body as if he's never touched him before. In a way, it's almost true. Loki's been burnt down to ashes, reborn more times than he can count. But Thor fits perfectly against him, like he always did.

He shoves Loki's shorts past his hips, then his own, slides their cocks together. Loki hisses through his lips, puts his hand over Thor's so he can push it faster. He comes hard, too quick, but Thor follows soon enough so that's okay.

He rests his forehead against Loki's cheek, and Loki can feel his pulse throb, rabbit fast. "Fuck," Loki says. "This was a bad idea." 

"Probably," Thor agrees.


	2. Chapter 2

14.

"I'm going up to the office," Thor says, over breakfast. "You should come - I'll show you around." 

Loki puts down his fork, says, "Heimdall still hate me?" 

"No." 

"Liar." 

"It's been ten years, Loki. We were both stupid kids then." 

"I doubt distance has endeared me to him." Heimdall had never liked him, not even when they were kids running around Odin's offices whenever Mom visited, getting themselves into trouble. For some reason, Heimdall never believed Loki when he claimed that it was all Thor's fault, even if everyone else bought the lies.

But he goes, wears a suit, is glad when Thor eschews his casual wear as well. 

"You clean up nice," Thor says, a low wolf whistle on his lips. 

"You're a horrible flirt." 

"Who says I'm flirting." 

Loki rolls his eyes. "Please." 

It used to be so easy, this. Their conversations, their silences. The way they were always inseparable, to the point where Loki forgot they were fraternal twins, not identical. 

For all their differences. Maybe because of them.

There are a dizzying amount of people that he doesn't know, as well as as few he does from before. Loki smiles, allows himself to be introduced as Thor's brother. Heimdall gives him a brittle smile, shakes his hand and squeezes a little too tight. "Glad to see you've made yourself comfortable here, Heimdall." 

"I'm only here to serve," Heimdall says, and even the small smile fades away.

Loki glares at Heimdall's back as he leaves, until Thor says, his hand on Loki's elbow, "You can't fire him." 

Loki snorts. "You going to stop me?" He glances around the office. "I don't see you working here. What happened? You wanted to be king, once." 

"Things change," Thor says. "I changed." His hand is still on Loki's elbow, thumb running concentric circles over the inside. Loki doesn’t think he's aware of it. 

"Jane," Loki says, and can't keep the derision from his voice. 

"Not her. Maybe only partly her. You left." 

"Ah, so now it comes out." Loki jerks his arm away.

Thor's eyes flicker. "No. I don't - let's not fight."

"All right."

It will come, soon enough. Loki can feel it, the anger simmering between them, all the words they've suppressed to hold on to this fragile sort of peace. Depending on how the argument goes, he might not last the year. Loki's always been willing to burn down his own house, just to watch it burn. He exhales, turns to slide his hand along the cherrywood desk, pristine even after so many years. It used to be Odin's, now it will probably be his. It's not that satisfying, somehow, because Thor doesn't want it anymore.

They fucked once, in this office. Odin out for a long lunch, the shades drawn and Loki pressing Thor up against the full glass window. Thor was wild back then. His school uniform was always rumpled, his hair a mess. Pink cheeks, red lips. Loki couldn't get enough of him, joined a queue that encompassed just about everyone that ever met Thor. 

But Thor loved him, or at least he said so often enough, with such earnestness. When he wasn't being the arrogant dick who knew exactly how much he was adored. When he was just Loki's other half, his twin. The sun to Loki's shade, and Loki didn't even mind. 

"Hey," Thor says. "Let's go up to the mountains."

Loki shrugs: why not.

 

15.

They drive home, and Thor calls Jane, makes arrangements while Loki packs. Or attempts to: he hardly has weather-appropriate winter wear just lying around. He glances up, and Thor's standing in the doorway, frowning at him. "I have clothes."

"We're not the same size."

"It'll be fine. The chopper's here."

"What did -" Loki pauses on the word, "Jane. What did she say?"

If Thor notices, he chooses to ignore it. "Told me to try not to kill our daughter. I said her uncle's there to protect her from her dad's recklessness."

They used to create havoc on the slopes, egging each other on to try one dangerous off-path run after another. In retrospect, it was a miracle they didn't get themselves killed. 

Thor has a tiny red headset for Magni, and there's a minor fuss over whether she will agree to wear it or not as they settle down in the chopper. Loki takes the headset from Thor and passes it to her, says, "It matches your coat, see." After Mangi puts it on, she insists on sitting in between the two of them instead of with the nannies, slips one hand into Thor's and the other into Loki's. 

"Thank you," Thor mouths.

Loki shakes his head, turns to look out the window. The whirring of the rotor blades and the increasingly chill air lull him into a comfortable trance, and he's not ready when they reach the lodge. "Weren't we supposed to stay at the house," he asks.

"No, just mostly there. If we're together, we can be someplace else."

"You realize this entire farce is ridiculous." 

"I won't fight you for control, I promise. Let's face it, you're far better suited to it than I am."

"Is that what he told you?"

"Yes," Thor says, simply. "He was waiting for you to come home."

"Bullshit." 

The place has five bedrooms. Loki chooses the one furthest from Thor. Before he shuts the door he can hear laughter, Thor’s warm baritone followed by a high pitched giggle. 

Loki showers, and ends up on the balcony, trying to read in the rapidly fading light. There's not much around here save for snow, and trees interrupting the vast expanse of white.

He must have left the door unlocked.

Thor squeezes his shoulder, says, "Mind if I join you?"

Loki waves his hand as Thor drags another chair over, offers him a beer. 

"I always loved it out here." Thor glances around, and even in the dim light Loki can see how pink his cheeks have gotten. A smile crosses his face, faint and memory-laden. "She used to get so worried, how we didn't seem to care for our own mortality. I never understood that until now - if anything at all were to happen to Magni, I don't know what I'd do."

"You can't protect your children forever," Loki says, harsh.

"I can certainly try." 

"Was she close to Odin?" But that's not the question he wants to ask.

"He doted on her, but then the marriage fell apart, and Jane brought her to London. She doesn't really understand death yet, and I suppose I'm grateful for that." Thor pauses. "I wish Mom could have met her, before -"

Loki leans forward, kisses him. Thor takes Loki's head into his hands, pulls away. "I thought you said this was a mistake."

"My entire life is a series of mistakes. What's one more?" He tries to keep his tone light, but has to break eye contact when Thor runs his thumb along his bottom lip. Loki shivers. "Let's just fuck. We can regret this tomorrow."

They stumble to the bed somehow, and it's good, it's Thor, with Thor it's always been good, and Loki could just drown. Thor shudders, tells him, "I love you," and buries his face in Loki's neck. The utter truth, in the same way that all Loki has is lies.

 

16.

It's Magni's first time on the slopes. Thor decides he'll accompany her to the ski classes for children, drags Loki along. They're the only men there, save for two male nannies, both of whom offer Thor a hopeful smile, before Loki's withering glare turns them away. The instructor's a burly woman with long dark hair, and she shakes Thor's hand, says, "It's been a while, Odinson. I see you've been busy."

"Hey, Joan. This is Magni," Thor says, lifting her up into his arms. "Say hi, princess."

"Hi," Magni says, and hides her face away.

Joan's glance wanders over to Loki, and Thor says, "My brother, Loki."

She must know who he is: anyone who's read a tabloid in the last decade or so and had a modicum of interest in the Odinson family would know who he is. Her smile is honest and wide though, and her handshake firm. "Nice to meet you, Loki."

"Likewise."

Magni forgets her shyness quickly, and is soon screaming with joy as she outpaces every other child there. It's mostly just fun and games though, and Loki finds himself dodging snowballs from excited children, and especially Thor's spawn. "Help me, please," he says, as he lands on his back, a toddler trying to stuff snow down his jacket.

"You have a way with children, brother. And here I thought you were just a sour-faced grinch." Thor beams at him, making no effort whatsoever to help him up.

Loki scowls. "You'll pay for this." 

"I'm sure I will," Thor replies, easy. He finally extends a hand to help Loki up, laughing as he dusts snow off him. "Children suit you."

"No, they really do not." But he can't help but smile as Magni launches herself at his leg, clings to it like a little monkey.

Over dinner, Loki makes a show of calculating on his phone, even though he can do the math easy in his head. 

"So if we spend enough time together here, I figure we might not even have to see one another in the last six months."

"Can you not," Thor says, tight.

"Can I not what?"

"We had a good day, Loki. Can't we just pretend we're a normal family for a while, just brothers who enjoy each other's company."

"Normal? Oh, I think we left normal behind years ago, don't you?"

Thor flushes, looks away. "Why are you being like this?"

"I was always like this - you just never bothered to notice." He pinches the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger, feels the burgeoning migraine behind his skull. 

"Please - I know. Just why _now._ "

Because he can feel the happiness, settling in his skin as if it has a right to be there. Because he can see himself with Thor, like this, in the years to come, static and contented, settling into one another like an old house into its foundations, like they were meant to be together the way they were when they were born, pushed squalling out into the world.

Loki is five minutes younger.

It feels like a lifetime, sometimes. Not tonight. 

He can't settle, it's not in his nature. 

"You bore me," Loki says.

"No, I scare you."

"It's sick, what we do. Don't pretend it's anything resembling normal standards of behavior. We're _brothers._ "

Thor winces, but his shrug is careless. "You don't care - don't tell me it's because of that. You care less than I do, always have."

Loki stands, says, "Maybe I've changed, Thor. People do, you know."

He leaves Thor there, staring blankly at his plate.

 

17.

Magni is staring at him when Loki wakes up, her eyes wide and solemn. "Dada says he has to go on the grown-up snow and I can't come. Francesa has to bring me to funtime, but I don't wanna." 

"You should," Loki tells her. "It was fun, yesterday, yes?"

She shrugs, and crawls into the bed without asking.

So very much like Thor.

Loki hugs her to him, wraps the sheets around them both. "Your dad shouldn't be on the grown-up slopes anyway."

His knee tends to give out at the worst of times. Thor knows this.

He's an idiot, always has been.

"I'll take you, okay?"

The day passes by in a blur of brightly colored outfits and screaming children with sticky faces and bright smiles. They're all wretchedly dumb, and Loki despairs for the next generation. Except for possibly Magni. She punches a boy in the eye, sends him crying to his nanny. "He pushed her first, I saw it," Loki tells Joan, even though he saw no such thing.

Joan's unconvinced, but Magni's very good at feigning woundedness. Loki watches her sniffle miserably, put on a show that leads to Joan throwing her hands up, "Just no more hitting, okay? Hitting is bad."

Loki takes her by the hand, whispers, "Don't listen to her - sometimes people deserve whatever it is they get."

Thor's sitting in the den when they return, close to the fireplace. He looks exhausted, and the fire throws odd shadows upon his face. Loki hands Magni over to Francesca, promises her that Thor will be there to tuck her in. He drags a chair over, sits facing Thor, who doesn't glance up. 

"How's your knee?"

"Fine." Loki presses his hand over Thor's jeans, squeezes. Thor hisses and jumps, pushes him away. "Sometimes when I run, I can feel it wobble, like it wants to give out. And I think, maybe if I just focus hard enough, run fast enough, I can will it to fix itself."

"I don't think that's how it works, Thor. You should be more careful."

"Nothing happened. Besides -" he doesn't finish the thought. _As if you care._ But it hangs there, heavy in the air.

Loki doesn't. "Funny, how you came out of that accident pretty much unscathed."

"I wouldn't call this unscathed," Thor says, tight.

"You know what I mean. You even managed to rise above being disowned. How long was it for, anyway. Three months? How easily he forgave you."

"It was six, and there was nothing easy about it. And you came out all right as well."

Loki curls his lips up. "Oh, you have no idea what it was like - what I've been through."

"Tell me. I'll listen."

"No." He slides off the chair, tells Thor, "Roll your pants up," but does it for him before he can. Loki rubs at the faintly swollen flesh, ignores Thor's exhalation of breath. He kneads into skin, then leans forward, presses his mouth to Thor's knee joint. 

Thor gasps, utters a strangled, "Loki."

Loki unbuckles his belt and lowers his head, pays no attention to Thor's quiet protestations. This is easy. It beats talking, having conversations that go in ever increasingly futile circles. It beats having to face what this year means, and dealing with what comes after.

Thor comes with a shiver, spurts hotly into Loki's mouth. Loki swallows, wipes his lips and tucks him back in neatly. Thor's fingers graze at his temple, and there's such inexplicable fondness on his face. He drags Loki up by the collar, kisses him hard. Loki clutches at his shirt, says, "Come on, Thor. Take me to bed."

"I'm supposed to go read to Magni."

"Oh, well then."

"But later," Thor says, and the back of his finger slides along Loki's jaw. "I promise."

 

18.

Jane calls, and Loki gets to watch Thor hide his frustration as she tells him she'll be home to pick Magni up soon. "I know what you're thinking," he says, after he hangs up.

"You have no idea what I'm thinking."

"I can't raise her," Thor says. "Besides, she needs her mother. We all need our mothers."

"I suppose." He doesn't argue with Thor; there's rarely any point once he's got that set look in his eyes: he's not changed that much.

"I see her enough," Thor says. "I can always see her, it's fine. The custody arrangement works." He's trying to convince himself, Loki can tell. 

What it must be like, to love someone so much you'd do anything for them. 

Loki's always found love more destructive than anything else. A sick sort of longing, of uncertainty that lead to madness, or mayhem. 

He's never been good at moderation. 

"Sure, if you say so," Loki says, and watches as the veneer cracks on Thor's face.

 

19.

Back in the house, Loki has to get accustomed again to not only the heat, but to the pitter patter of a four year old who's overcome her fear of him, and now simply demands his time as if it's her right. Thor grins. "I told you she liked you. She reminds me of you, you know."

"Hm? I thought she'd take more after you."

"Only superficially. But she's quiet, like you are. Thoughtful. Really intelligent - probably gets that from Jane. But smart like you."

"I think you mean sneaky."

"Well."

Thor has physical therapy, which gives Loki some time to sit, do some reading. Maybe answer some overdue emails. He'd left his previous life behind like he had all others: burnt everything to the ground, left no tracks behind. But Loki from the House of Odin is not going to be a hard man to find, and his past will catch up with him eventually.

Loki will deal with it when it comes.

He's settled down with a book in the den when Magni's head pops around the door, a children's book clutched to her chest. She crawls onto the couch with Loki, gives him her giant sad eyes routine, and Loki sighs. "Come on then," he says. She beams, curls up against him as he takes the book from her. Dora the Explorer. Why not.

He lifts his head half way through the book and there's Thor, snapping a photo with his phone.

"What are you doing?"

"Blackmail material." He sits next to Loki, bumps their knees together. "Loki Odinson likes small children."

"One small child, singular. Children in general -" he thinks of the brats in the skiing school, shudders.

"Dada, Uncle Loki was reading. You're being rude."

"Sorry, princess. I'll be quiet now."

"Dada talks too much, I feel." Loki returns to the book, starts reading again. Thor's arm stretches out on the back of the couch, his thumb rubbing a light, circular motion into Loki's neck. Loki can feel him without looking up, radiating warmth.

He allows Thor to pull him upstairs afterwards, when Magni goes down for a nap.

They waste the rest of the afternoon, like that.

 

20.

The days pass, slow and lazy. Jane's expedition is extended, so Thor gets to keep Magni for a while longer, although she calls almost every morning. 

The nights pass, far less slowly. More often than not, they fuck. More often than not, Thor stays the night. He likes to spoon, and Loki allows it, because Thor's warm and big and it's easier to just give in than to push Thor away, to allow the panic to take hold. It was different when they were teenagers and he could just shove Thor away, tell him to fuck off and Thor would only laugh, kiss him and saunter off.

Loki knew who he was then, understood his place in the world, and Thor's.

 

21.

"Let's go to L'Auberge tonight," Thor says one day, too casually. 

Loki knows very well what day it is, but - "Why? I thought you hated French food." 

"Not always." He pauses. "It was her favorite restaurant, and it's her birthday today." 

"Is it? I'd completely forgotten." 

Thor shrugs, but Loki doesn't care if he doesn't believe him. "Dad and I, we kept the standing reservation, tried to go every year." 

"I suppose my invite got lost in the mail." 

"If you had let us know where you were instead of-" 

Loki holds up his hand to stop him. "Let's do it, why not?" 

Thor exhales in relief, as if he's won some great victory. Loki bristles when he says, "You can't wear the leather and the jeans." 

"I do remember how to behave in polite society, Thor, it's not like I forgot which spoon to use when I left." 

Thor ignores the words, tugs on the hem of Loki's well worn jacket. "Not that the biker look isn't great." His lips hover near Loki's ear. "The danger suits you."

"Stop trying to get into my pants." 

"I've already gotten into your pants. Now I'm just trying to charm you." His fingers slip into Loki's jeans, skitter across his hipbone. "We should fatten you up some." 

"Not with the food at L'Auberge you won't."

The table's set for four. 

Loki exhales, shakes his head to clear it. "You order, I'm not that hungry." 

All of Mother's favorite dishes, plus a few of Loki's. Thor pours the wine, raises his glass. "To family, both here and gone." It takes Loki a moment to return the toast, and then he can only offer a faint, derisive smile in return. "We're all we have left," Thor says. "You and I, and Magni." 

Loki gulps down his wine, says, "I suppose that's true," then pauses. "Did she ask for me often?" 

"She never gave up hope." 

Of everyone, he would have returned for her. Imagined he had time, imagined tomorrow as always being the day that he would pick up the phone, or show up at her favorite brunch place. Imagined what she would say, what he would. He would be nicer, most definitely, than the other times she'd managed to get ahold of him, begged him to return home. "So is that why you brought me here, then. To make me feel guilty?" 

"I brought you here because you're my brother, and her son, and she would have wanted you here." His fingers are on Loki's wrist, pressing against the rapid beat of his pulse. "Can we just - for tonight at least. For her." 

Loki pulls away, nods shakily. "For her."


	3. Chapter 3

22.

Loki overhears Magni on the phone sometimes, babbling about her exciting activities the day before or just about the cat she saw playing in the grass. He intercepts the call one morning, when Magni's still having her breakfast. 

"Where's Mags," Jane asks.

"Mag- my niece is with her father, they're on playdate of some sort with a friend of Thor's." 

"A playdate, right, okay." Loki can hear the uncertainty in her voice. "I tried his cell, but -" 

"He turned it off. I'll tell him you called though. It was lovely to hear from you, Jane." 

Thor comes into the room as Loki hangs up, asks, "Who was that?" 

"Wrong number," Loki says. "Weren't we taking Magni out to the stables?"

"Yeah, after breakfast."

The drive out to the stables is short. Magni is excited, bouncing up and down on her seat. "Are we seeing the horsies, Dada?"

"Horses," Loki corrects her. To Thor, he asks, "Has she had any lessons yet?"

"First time." He leans in, says low into Loki's ear. "She's been begging me for a pony. But I think she wants one that sparkles and has rainbow hair."

"She's going to be sorely disappointed, if that's what she's expecting." Loki finds himself staring at Thor's lips. He flicks his gaze up, to the bright blue of Thor's eyes. "Are you shopping for a pony?"

"I think the lessons should be enough for now."

Magni crawls over Loki's lap to peer out the window as they near the stables, and Loki has to hold her by the waist as she oohs and aahs at the horses. Thor uses his distraction to lean in even further, touch their knees together. Loki shifts away, but not far.

The lessons go well enough. Loki leans against the fence while Thor sits on it, waving encouragement to Magni whenever she glances their way. Her face is bright, joyous under the helmet. "You should get her a mare," Loki says. "Something gentle, she'll love it."

"I'm not getting her a horse, Loki. Don't even think about it."

Loki laughs, leans back even further against the fence, so he can feel Thor's thigh against his shoulder. "Did Mom and Dad ever say no to you?"

"Not often, and look how terrible I turned out. And they never said no to _us._ "

"Not how I remember it," Loki says, faintly uncomfortable. Was he happy, growing up? Very possibly, but a lot of it was Thor, whose laid back cheer was always infectious. It was easy, with his brother. They were rarely apart, and probably terrorized everyone misfortunate enough to come across their path.

So very long ago. They're not children anymore, and barely brothers.

Magni's exhausted on the drive home, falls fast asleep in Thor's arms as he rubs her back and sings softly to her.

"Good day," Thor says, as Loki passes by him on the way up to his bedroom. He grabs Loki's hand, squeezes. 

"Put her down for her nap, I'll be in the shower."

"All right."

Loki says, before he turns away, "You can join me, if you like."

 

23.

Jane somehow doesn't manage to catch Magni on the phone for almost a week, but finally she calls when Magni's right there babbling loudly, and Loki can't avoid passing her the phone. He hovers around, catching snatches of the conversation."Dada says I can get a puppy, Mama," Magni says.

Thor has said no such thing. But there was a giant sheepdog twice Magni's size at the stables that she couldn't stop hugging, so that explains it.

Magni's face falls. The response must not be good. 

Loki leaves her to the rest of the conversation, wanders into the kitchen. Arms wrap around him from behind as he's cutting himself some bread, and Thor kisses the side of his neck. "Your daughter wants a puppy," Loki says.

"I doubt Jane would approve. Come to bed with me."

Loki touches Thor's forearm, hmms thoughtfully. "You could get one for her, she can see it whenever she stays."

"Are you actually advocating for a pet? Who are you and what have you done to my brother?"

Loki pokes him in the side, but gently. "Come on. You could use the company, for when -" He cuts himself off as Thor stiffens.

"Yeah, I suppose I could." His voice is hollow. "Why not?"

They end up choosing a Labrador, although Loki tries for a Rottweiler. 

"And here I thought you'd insist on some tiny yappy thing, like a terrier," Thor says.

"If that's meant to be some kind of an insult I would point out that I'm only two inches shorter than you."

The breeder drops by with a litter of pups, allows them to run free in the garden as Magni giggles and chases after their tails. She also brings three tiny Samoyed puppies, fluffy and pure white. There's a squeal from Magni when she sees them, and the decision is made. 

"You can only have one, princess," Thor says. 

Magni kneels down next to the smallest pup, holds it to her. "This one!"

"I hope she doesn't accidentally kill it," Loki whispers to Thor.

"This was your idea," Thor whispers back.

They both stare at Magni with some trepidation, until the breeder starts gathering up the rest of the puppies. "She'll be fine, I'm sure," the woman says. "Kids love dogs. And he's a hardy fella."

"Uh-huh," Loki replies.

"So what will you name him," Thor asks, as he picks up the squirming pile of puppy.

"Crouton!"

"That makes no sense at all." Loki says.

The puppy licks Thor's face, and Thor laughs. "Crouton it is."

 

24.

The puppy is impossible. Thor hires a trainer, but it's still just a baby, and prone to jumping into people's laps without provocation. It's torture.

"Curb your daughter's pet, Thor," Loki complains. 

Thor says, "It's not the dog’s fault it can tell you're a softie." He pushes Loki down onto the couch and licks his face aggressively. 

"Ew, ew," Loki says, but he's laughing.

Thor straddles him, his licks turning slowly into kisses. Loki nestles into the couch, wraps a lazy arm around Thor's waist. "You want to send me for obedience training, Mr. Odinson?" 

"Don't tempt me, Mr. Odinson."

The puppy barks, and they both violently part. Where Crouton goes, Magni follows. And vice versa. Thor's cheeks are flushed, his hair mussed, and Loki must look just as obviously disheveled. 

It's a good thing Magni's only four.

"Dada, Uncle. Crouton can sit. Sit, Crouton." 

Crouton tilts his head. 

"Doesn't like taking orders, I see," Thor says.

"Maybe just too dumb to understand them." 

Thor punches him lightly in the arm.

 

25.

Heimdall drops by on occasion, to talk shop. Thor tells Loki to sit in, and after a while, and a few pertinent questions on Loki's part, Heimdall stops favoring him with suspicious glances, starts addressing him directly. This pleases Thor, though he tries to hide it from Loki.

A few times, an assistant drops by with papers for Thor to sign. Once, Thor barely looks up from playing with Magni when the butler comes to tell them they have company, says to Loki, "You go."

Loki sits and crosses his leg, puts the document on his thigh to flip through each page, reading every line. 

The assistant clears her throat nervously, says, "Mr. Odinson usually just signs them."

"Well it's a good thing then, isn't it, that the differences between my brother and me aren't just superficial." Loki offers her a thin smile.

She blanches.

He snaps the folder shut, says, "You may leave."

"Yes, sir, of course." She scurries away, her high heels clicking hard across the tiles.

"Do you just sign these," Loki asks Thor, as he hands the folder over to Thor. "That's what that girl said. Mr. Odinson usually just signs them," he mimics the girl's high, shrill voice.

Thor perks up. "The pretty one?" 

"Jesus fucking Christ, Thor."

Thor laughs, flips the folder open to start signing. Without _reading it._ "I was kidding," he says as Loki scowls in discontent.

"Sure you were. The board must love you." 

"They probably just hoped that Dad would live forever." Thor puts down the pen to put his hands on Loki's arms, slides them up and down reassuringly. He's so affectionate, nowadays. It's killing Loki. "I trust my people."

"You shouldn't."

"Well, that's what you're here for, isn't it." He drags Loki in, kisses him on the cheek. Loki flinches, but then turns his head to accept the kiss on his mouth. 

"Sure, that's what I'm here for," Loki repeats, hollow.

The lies burn, as surely as Thor's lips on his, as surely as Thor's touch. 

 

26.

"We're watching a movie," Thor says.

"We?"

"Magni has informed me that she gets regular movie nights with Jane, and she's been missing out."

"Ah," Loki says. "Well, I'm busy, so enjoy your movie."

"Oh no, you don't get away that easily."

Loki's about to ask Thor if he plans to throw Loki over his shoulder and force him to spend two hours watching what's definitely going to be a torturous cartoon, but it turns out Thor has a more evil plan in mind. All three feet of her, barelling into Loki with the puppy behind her, waving her hands in excitement.

_You will pay for this_ , he tries to convey to Thor through his glare. Thor's answering smirk is just unfair.

So, Loki, Thor and Magni, with added puppy draped across her lap, end up on the couch in the entertainment room, watching Magni's favorite cartoon, which turns out to be My Little Pony.

Halfway though the movie, Thor's arm ends up across the back of the couch, his thumb grazing Loki's neck. Loki shoots him a look: _Really?_ Not that Magni would notice, what with Twilight Sparkle being such riveting entertainment. Thor leaves his arm there, and after a while Loki leans his head back, allows himself to be warmed by the touch.

Thor carries Magni to bed after she falls asleep, and as they head back towards Thor's room Loki says, "Let's never do that again."

"I saw you smiling. Don't pretend Sunset Shimmer didn't warm your heart."

"I have no heart, remember?"

Thor crowds him against the corridor wall, his hand over Loki's chest. "I beg to differ."

"The magic of friendship," Loki sing-songs, as Thor kisses him, "is everywhere!"

"Shut up," Thor says. Loki laughs.

 

27.

There's some business to attend to in Hong Kong - Loki doesn't have to go, necessarily, but he has to get away, and so he tells Thor, "I'm going - cleared it with the lawyers."

"How long will you be?"

Loki shrugs. "A week, maybe two. I don't know."

"We could come with you - take the plane. Magni's never been."

"No, I don't think so." Thor reaches for him, but Loki steps neatly away, avoids his touch. After a moment, Thor drops his hand, and stops. 

"But you'll be back?" He sounds uncertain.

"I said I would," Loki says, brusque. "I need to go pack."

He leaves without saying goodbye, not to Thor, not to Magni. Finds out on the way to the airport that Thor's arranged for the plane to be fueled up, and that he merely has to give instructions as to where he wants to go. Churlishly, he almost flies commercial anyway, but the thought of human company leads him to accept the offer for what it is.

"When do we pick you up again, sir," the Captain asks, at the end of an endless flight.

"I'll let you know," Loki says, keeping his tone neutral.

His business is settled quickly, but Loki lingers. He spends most of his evenings in the hotel bar, drinking scotch and avoiding eye contact.

Thor calls, and Loki picks up on the eighth night. "Hey," Thor says, and he sounds surprised to hear Loki's voice, and he sounds warm. "So your niece says you better come home soon because you promised her a pony - I told her you promised her no such thing, but she's adamant."

"Tell her I'm a liar," Loki says, after a long moment. "It's what I do."

"Loki," Thor says, and pauses. "I miss you. Come home."

"I have business."

"When it's settled then. Come home."

Loki hangs up.

He calls the pilot the next morning, arranges for the flight back.

When he lands, Thor is standing on the tarmac, Magni in her red earmuffs holding his hand. She waves and breaks free, runs to him and Loki has to bend down to pick her up. Thor ambles over, slides a warm hand along Loki's back. Loki shivers. His voice is soft in Loki's ear. "I'm glad you're back." The unspoken words fall between them as silently as leaves:

Please stay.

I don't know if I can.

_Please._

 

28.

Thor's subdued, over the coming weekend. He suggests Loki go up to the office again on Monday as they finish Sunday dinner, says, "You might as well get started, learn the ropes."

"It's not been a year."

"But we've been doing well, haven't we?" He sounds tired.

Loki raises his brow. "Worried I'll leave, let Stark Industries take what's rightfully ours?"

"You left before."

So here it is, then.

Loki puts down his wine glass, very carefully. "You could have come after me, you know."

The look Thor shoots him is incredulous. "I did - tell me you forgot."

It was just the once: Loki was holed up in some godforsaken place because his trust hadn't come in yet, stubbornly refusing Mother's offer to help. Thor had shown up, lost and _pleading_ for Loki to just come home. But all Loki had heard was his judgement. All he could see was Odin, the expression that would be on his face if Thor dragged him home, like a runaway pet, bedraggled and scared.

There was a lot of yelling, that night. Followed by tears, and Thor kissing him, and Loki shoving him away.

"I remember," Loki says. "The one and only time you bothered."

"You chased me away - what was I supposed to do?"

"Try harder - you were supposed to try harder!" 

In the silence that follows, all Loki can hear is his own harsh breathing, and Thor, with his mouth wide open. He shuts it after a while, clears his throat. "You think it was easy for me? Dad was angry, Mom was always crying herself to sleep. You broke her heart, Loki."

"So - what? Her death is my fault now?"

Thor shakes his head. "I didn't say that. But I needed you, Loki. I needed you and you weren't there. Do you know how that felt? After a while you just disappeared off the grid, and we couldn't even find out where you were busy rejecting us from."

" _You_ needed me. You you you. Did you ever think about what I needed, other than to be second best to you?"

Thor pushes his plate away with some disgust. "Well, maybe if you'd actually opened your mouth to tell me you weren't happy, or that I was hurting you in some way -"

"You would have listened? Right, because that's your strong suit, listening." He finds his voice getting more clipped with each word, each volley he launches at Thor. The rage burns in him, so hot it's ice cold, pure and unfiltered. "Besides, it's not as if you didn't move on soon enough. Even managed to find yourself a woman to marry and breed with."

"Five years," Thor says. "And it didn't last."

"I suppose that's my fault as well. You know what - I've had enough. I don't need this."

"Then leave," Thor growls, his entire body tensed up as if ready to strike. "It's what you're good at, after all."

Loki pushes the chair back, tips it over in his haste to get away. "Fine, maybe I will."

He's stayed too long as it is. It's not as if he wanted any of this: to come back here, to be forced to live with Thor in this house that holds nothing but memories, to entertain his child. 

 

29.

Loki starts packing. He hasn't settled in much, force of habit. Don't get too comfortable, don't lay roots anywhere. There's movement from the door, and Loki whirls, ready to start yelling.

But it's not Thor.

"Uncle Loki, I had a nightmare."

"Where's your father?"

Magni shrugs, her lips turned into a pout. "Will you sing me to sleep?"

Loki puts his hand to his forehead. "Not tonight, okay."

"But I want -"

"I said not tonight." Magni rears back, and Loki instantly regrets the harshness of his tone. "Magni, I didn't mean -" 

But she's already gone, little feet light on the parquet as she scurries off. He can hear her, softly crying as she leaves.

Not a child used to being rejected, this one.

Crouton growls at him before he turns to follow Magni. Loki doesn't blame him.

Magni's in her room, huddled under the blankets with the dog at her feet. Loki slips into the bed, switches on the night light. "Do you want to read Dora?"

"No." She sniffles, and Loki pats her hair, runs his hand down her back soothingly. It's not her fault, any of this. She's just a child. 

"I could tell you another story if you like."

Her head perks up in some interest. "What kind of a story."

"It's about two princes from a faraway land."

Magni considers, then nods, her forgiveness given as easily as her love. She allows Loki to pull her to him, to tell his story.

Halfway through, she's fast asleep. 

Thor's leaning against the doorway when Loki notices, stops talking. "So how does the story end," he asks softly.

"I don't know." Loki extracts himself from Magni, tucks her into the bed. He manages to get past Thor without touching him, but is followed down the hallway back to his wing of the house.

"You packed," Thor says, accusatory.

"I did."

"So you're really leaving?"

"You invited me to." 

Thor grabs his arm, propels him into a wall. Loki lands against it with a wince. "So you'll leave, let Stark have everything Dad worked so hard for."

"To be honest it's the far more humane thing to do. My original plan was to take over and make you watch as I ground the empire to dust, piece by piece." The smile on his face must look awful, but he doesn't care.

"Bullshit. I know you, you care too much to -"

"You haven't seen me in a decade! What do you know about me? Nothing at all. You don't know how long I've wanted to watch you lose everything you hold dear, lose the thing you love the most."

"I did." Thor steps away, and Loki can suddenly breathe. "But now I have Magni. And you came back."

Loki shoves at him in disgust. "You think I ever cared for either one of you."

"Loki, enough. I know you're trying to hurt me, but enough."

"I -" Loki crosses his arms with finality. "I leave tomorrow. Or I stay, and I promise you, I'll destroy everything Odin worked for."

"What do you mean?"

"I've spoken to the lawyers. We've fulfilled almost all of the requirements, so you can still keep the company if I leave."

Something flickers, dark within Thor's eyes. It's the same thing that's churning in Loki's stomach, turning everything into bile. "And what about Magni," Thor asks.

"She's a child. They're resilient - she'll forget me in a week." Thor seems disinclined to do more than stare at Loki, destroyed expression on his face, so Loki says, "I'll give you until tomorrow morning. If I don't see you by then, I'll go, and you can once again forget that you have a brother."

He walks away on shaking legs, leaves Thor standing there, alone.

Sleep will probably not be an option, but still Loki tries. Squeezes his eyes shut and tries to think of where he'll go next if Thor takes the deal. Costa Rica, perhaps. Too hot though. He's heard Finland's nice. Europe might be a good place to disappear. 

He's almost convinced himself that he's looking forward to leaving when the door bursts open, and Thor is walking towards the bed in long, swift strides. "I hate you," he says, as he takes Loki by the scruff of his shirt and hauls him close. "I hate you," he says, as he kisses him, as desperately as Loki is kissing him back. Loki moans, falls back into the bed, dragging Thor along with him. "Why are you like this?" 

"I don't know. I wish I knew. Stop talking, please stop talking." He cradles Thor's head in his hands, kisses every inch of his face, and eventually, Thor does as he's told.

"Stay," Thor says, after, his hand aimless on Loki's back. "You can destroy the company - you can have everything, I don't care."

"You say that now - we both know you'll change your mind tomorrow. You're Odin's son."

"So are you."

"Not the way you are." He traces the lines on Thor's face, says, with some wonder, "You chose me."

"I will always choose you."

"And if I give you another chance? Tell you I'll walk away now and you can have everything?"

Thor turns his face into Loki's palm. "Will you walk away," Thor mouths against Loki's skin. "I don't believe you."

Loki finds a smile, breaking his face. "You should just let me leave."

Thor puts his fingers on Loki's mouth, says again, "Stay. I choose you."

"I changed my mind. It wasn't really an option anyway. I lied, it's what I do, remember?"

"I _love_ you."

Loki knows this. He has always known this. Even lost, alone, desperately searching for answers, for a purpose and a destiny, he'd known this as an inalienable truth.

It's not enough.

"I'm sorry," he says.

 

30.

Loki's at the breakfast table, showing Magni what Thor's iPhone password is when the man himself appears at the door. "I thought you were leaving," he says, as he takes a seat next to Loki.

"I left my bag in the room."

"No, but I thought -" He still looks wrecked. The last time Loki saw him this distraught was - ten years ago. "I was just going to ask, what about after the year?" 

Loki pauses. "We'll see," he says.

Under the table, Thor squeezes his knee.


End file.
